What Is It Really Like Out "There"

The look of crap at 9AM.  

Woke up this morning at 4AM with a sore throat, can barely see straight and feeling like crap.  Typical people would have the sense to go back to bed.  I haven't been graced by this pleasurable luxury.  Instead, I hit snooze and made a pathetic attempt of starting my morning routine.  Yawn, eye crust, grumble grumble and stumble like a drunkard to the bathroom.  Surprisingly, I actually made it to the bathroom to take a shower.  Felt so good for all of the five minutes that I could stand to be in there.  Puked up a part of last night's internal debate of whether I was getting sick and threw myself back into bed.

Take two:  Tortured myself at 5:50 and said to myself that I'll pay off some bills and at the very least, I can muster up some strength to make it to work.  Sat at the computer and if I can imagine, probably looking pretty pathetic and came to a depressing conclusion that I will not be going in for my internship today.  Feel even more like shit since the last day I've been there was Thursday.  Oh joy.

Here's the reality of the culinary world and what it is like out "there":

Nobody truly cares how sick you are when you're in the industry.  Bring your sad, pathetic ass to work and let me actually send you home.  This way, I can see that you made an attempt.  In addition, we know you are not supposed to contaminate the food BUT if I need you to work, you're going to do it while carrying around a bottle of NyQuil, Benadryl, Motrin 600 and some Vicodin.  While heavy intoxicated by over the counter pharmaceuticals, you'll be lucky to start out in this industry at $13/hour...at least in New York.  My inner psychic says you'll be making anywhere from minimum wage to eh...$10/hour, which you will be slaved for.  If you have a great hookup, then you are indeed fortunate, my dear.

This industry will drain you sometimes and if you're really committed to it, the rush will turn you on better than any estranged prostitute on a broken corner can ever do.  Just please don't be jaded by the idea that this is a bird course or easy.  Sure, there's nothing to cooking food once you've mastered the technique but try mastering that technique to a hungry crowd of 200 in three hours.  Can you really execute these dishes in complete harmony?  Will you tap into your inner Zen like cooking guru in the sky and feel at peace?  Probably not.  There will be loads of confusion, cross messages, "no, I really didn't ask for that", "I don't like my lettuce with any specks of brown..." and you will lose track of time at the drop of a hat.  This is what it is like out there.

Being sick is for people who have the time to sleep.  People who have the time to sleep are the ones who either paid their dues, still in school with no real obligations, hospitalized, have no job whatsoever and probably not making a decent attempt and should I get dramatic on saying the cliche thing of getting sleep when you're dead.  Another probability is quite possibly that there's someone that you're mooching off of and are a fortunate gold digger.  Hey, not knocking you at all if that's you.

In the meantime, this 26 year old Brooklynite have to do this internship while freelancing in culinary and photography while juggling a family life, praying that I will never be like some of my coworkers who laugh about their divorces and late night rendezvous with the alluring lady called the bar.  Not looking for any damaging vices where I'm smoking and snorting my life away on precious lines.  I just like to draw them on paper...not much interested in putting them in my nose.  They don't teach you that in kindergarten.

Sometimes, I'm a bit annoyed of how people watch reality shows like Top Chef and truly don't grasp the amount of time, energy and endurance that a person need to really make it on these shows.  It's a beautiful thing to be inspired and want to go into this industry because of it but I sincerely recommend for people to dig deeper than what's seen on television.  Start out working for someone for a month...better yet, go lower than that.  Host a party for 20.  Do all of the prep work, cooking, hosting and take orders while communicating with your guests.  Then go work for someone in their kitchen.  Identify all of the products that you need to use efficiently.  Watch them...almost like your life depended upon it.  Admire the speed of the person holding the blade.  Take in all of the wonderful aromas erupting from the kitchen.  Immerse yourself in the genuine smiles that come from the customers who are enjoying what's coming from you.  Now, take a moment and look at the aggravation on the dishwasher's face.  Watch all of the veins pop out of the Executive and Sous Chef's head for small things.  Count how many curse words fly out of people's mouths.  Take in every sexist, crude joke and multiply it times ten.  Sniff your arm pit after eight hours with barely any type of break.  Don't get too comfortable because it's not time for you to go home yet.  You've been there since 6AM?  My supervisor has been there since 5AM and he or she is not going to care.  They'll be here all day long and will rinse, wash and repeat this 6 days a week.  Cry silently about your bunions, your blistered hands and semi broken spirit.

After all has been done, please tell me how much you love this industry.  Tell me what it truly means to call in sick?  What it means to make a semi decent wage after you've slaughtered yourself, possibly lost part of your family, missed out on festivities and tuning in from a distance of how everyone is having fun without you and tell me how much you love this industry.  If you are able to balance your personal life with this industry, my kudos are to you.  If not, please evaluate if this is what you want.  Thankfully, I LOVE this industry because of the end result, making all of the chaotic stuff minuscule to me but can you truly say the same?  After you love it, ask yourself, what is my backup plan if this doesn't work in my favor in the future.

Welcome to my reality.  It's tough, trying and emotional but I love it.